1. My mum had an accident, she fell and hurt her knee yesterday morning. And today, instead of staying by her side, I left her alone and I still went to Church. She was furious with me.
2. I asked her whether she wanted to go to hospital and she yelled back at me, said that I didn't care about her and she'd rather die than to be hurt emotionally because of my neglect.
3. I felt guilty and I apologised to her, but she wouldn't listen to me and kept saying that my religion and my God had taught me to be ignorant towards her.
4. I snapped and started yelling back at her.
5. and in the moments of desperation, I banged my head to her bedroom wall and I hit myself vigorously. I closed my eyes, cried as loud as I could, but I felt no physical pain just the overwhelming storms of guilty feelings. And I think I'd be seriously injured if my husband hadn't stopped me at that moment.
6. I had an emotional breakdown. It happened several times in the past when I'm really stressed out.
7. Later tonight, when I took my shower, I can see nail-scratches marks all over my forehead, several blue bruises, and several bumps at the back of my head. And ugh, they hurt a lot.
I regret every stupid things I made today. God have mercy on me, because I have sinned. :(
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